There is a woman who I have known since I was around ten years old. We grew up together, but I wouldn’t call her a friend. In fact, I don’t like her at all. She is mean, rude and sometimes downright ugly to me.
The first time I met her was in the 4th grade; I discovered that I had a knack for making people laugh, and I would tell jokes or do funny things on occasion. People would get a kick out of my jokes and giggle, and I enjoyed the feeling I got from making other people feel good. Well, one day she said to me “Nothing you say is funny.” That stung my little heart, but I tried to ignore her as much as I could.
When I got to be a teenager, things really started getting bad. If I missed questions on a test, she would tell me I was stupid, (quite often in fact) or when I tried out for the dance team she told me “you can’t dance” the problem was, she told me things like this so often that I started believing her, and stopped trying.
I managed to get her out of my life for a time, but she started coming around again right after I became a mother. She would tell me that I didn’t know what I was doing. What a shrew she was! I wanted to punch her in the nose.
I finally told her that I had enough about eight years ago, and she left my life for good, or so I thought.
Recently, she has started coming around again, this time when I accomplish something.
I love photography and have been studying and working hard to hone my craft for many years. When I decided to take it to the next level and start a business; she told me in a very snarky voice “yeah, but you’re not a real photographer.” Good grief, that woman!
Just this morning, I completed a flower painting that I have been working on for weeks. I stood back to admire my work. Something clicked with this painting, and after a ton of practice, I felt that I had finally got it right, and I was proud of my picture. Well, guess who walked in the door? That mean woman. Do you know what she had the nerve to tell me? “Well, you’re not a real artist.”
I want to get her out of my life once and for all, but the trouble is, she is me.
We all have an inner critic; unfortunately, some of us have harsher ones than others. It’s a problem when you start to believe all of the nasty things that the critic says. Let me warn you; you’re paying a very high price when you listen to and believe that inner mean woman/ man. The harsher the judgment, the lower the confidence one has.
So what can you do? The next time you hear that mean voice in your head telling you that you aren’t good enough, politely tell it “Thank you and go away” Get busy doing something for someone else and make it a habit to shift your mindset away from that negativity. It may take a while, but if you get in the habit of ignoring that ‘mean woman’ in your head, she will eventually stop coming around so often.
Thank you all for coming out to the Locust farmers market last week. It is always so great to see your smiling faces and hearing your stories. I love talking to each and every one of you, and it makes my heart skip a beat when you tell me that you enjoy reading my articles. Thank you for that.
Sweet Harvest Homestead’s last day at the Locust farmers market will be July 28th. I will miss seeing you all, but I’ll be back next year. And, one more thing; I will be at a book signing for my book From Farm to Market: Stories of Farmers & Artisans in the Carolina Piedmont on Friday, July 29th at the Stanly County (Evening) Farmers Market in Albemarle. Hope to see you there!
That’s the news from the homestead, see you next week!